It's better to have loved and lost.....

than never to have loved at all? Is it really though. Does it make sense to put yourself through something, especially if you know the outcome is going to hurt you, than to just sit there and be lonely and miserable? All of this stems from a weekend encounter. Someone who claimed they were so into me, talking about all sorts of things, about me "adopting" them, but the minute something happens, they act like you never existed.

I've been through this before, several times, so why do I put myself through it again? I told my friend "because I'm lonely and the closest person who seems to want me is more than 6 hours away." And he says something I never really thought of before, and it's hard to choose. Choose the lesser of the two. Lonely or Hurt. How do I choose between being lonely and miserable and not having any real friends here at all.........or meeting someone, thinking it would work out b/c we were cool on the phone?

I know, if you've ever read more than just this one post, you must be tired of me reading about how I think my appearance is hindering my career and love life. But I really think it is. And you know what? Getting "advice" and the "you should do something about it's" don't help from people who have never been in my situation, so thanks, but you have no clue what it's like. But Idk if I might also be scared to change it. I feel like other flaws will come out, or then also, I might be judged solely on my looks, which I already am, but I've seen the attention the "skinny" chicks get, I definitely don't want that, cuz I'm not exactly nice about it, with the little attention I do get. But seriously Idk if I could handle it, and I don't think I want to.

But we'll see....I will now have a free gym membership thanks to my apt. complex, but unfortunately they decided 3 months after I started paying at the other gym, to switch their contract. So.......I'm sure I'll have to pay early termination fees.

And on another high note.....www.peekyou.com is a wonderful site. I found my best friends from elementary and junior high, and high school on myspace, so I'm reconnecting, trying to only deal with people who are there through the thick and thin, no matter what.