Same script, different month

So things are getting a little bit better on the jobfront. I'm shocked it's going by so fast. At my first job, those first 6 months were brutal. And then once I switched over to nightside, it flew by.

I've decided I only want to have to take the GRE twice. I'm gonna take it once to see how I do, and then take it again, to send to schools, and hopefully start on my Master's in Spring 2010. I'm shooting for an online program, and my top choice, looks like I could actually start in the fall. Hopefully I can find a job back home to start getting some experience, and then really apply for the jobs I want.

Anywho, back to the present, I'm fighting sleep, to get my apartment in order, and eventually wash my hair. Worked 6 days this week, and it'll be worth it, when I see my direct deposit next week.

Like I told someone earlier today, I'm so excited about the possibilities, I can't wait to get started, and finish everything, so the life I desire can begin!

Love...I think I know what I'm missing, unfortunately

I was trying to think of what to title this post, and Keyshia Cole's song popped into my head.

Side note: I originally was trying to keep this blog about my career journey, because I wanted people I knew to read this blog, but I didn't want them knowing all my business.

So just the career piece of the pie that is Tiffani is boring, so I've opened up.

Now, back to the subject at hand. I'm in a new city, new state. Back to working crazy hours. I've met a few people since I moved, but it's difficult when you work hours opposite from the rest of the world.

Sooooo.... I'm just doing time until I get to a place I wanna be, location and career-wise (which would be preferably home in Dallas, and in a slightly different field).

But it always pains me to see people who, I know it's not right and not Christ-like to say it, but they're beneath me. I'm a good woman, a Christian, I have a good job, no kids, but I cannot find a man, who doesn't only want sex. I know I'm not the only one who feels that way, but it seems like it. I'm always in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

When will my Prince Charming come along and sweep me off my feet?

I had to edit this post to add something. How is it I can have so many male friends, and supposedly all the guys that want me, who live in other states, but I never find one in my urrrea?

Loooooooooooooooong time, no blog

Well, I guess I'm dusting off the old blog. I didn't think it'd still be here. Between MySpace, Facebook, and now Twitter, I just didn't have a reason to come back. Plus my laptop finally gave up on me, so I've just been accessing the Internet from work, and you should know, doing personal stuff at work should be limited. But there's no reason really for me to abandon my blog either. I've got a new laptop, almost a week old, and I'm ready to get back to it.

So I've actually moved on to a bigger place. Been here for a couple of months, back on the graveyard shift. Not the best experience right now. I didn't feel like I was properly trained, and of course, that just happens to be my fault, no one else's *insert eye roll here*

In the past I've only considered leaving the business, or switching over to PR, in the back of my mind, but this whole situation has me seriously considering it. I swore I'd NEVER, NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER go back to school. Never wanted to crack a book except for fun. Now I'm considering getting my Master's in PR, and moving to a sector that has better hours, MUCH BETTER pay, and better job security. But at 27, I feel like I'm starting all over again. But people say I'm still young, (just met a woman today that said I was still a baby, and that I had a babyface) not married, I have no kids, no relatives to take care of (I do want a Yorkie though, shhh don't tell Miss Pookie) so I think I'll go for it.

Now we'll just see if I can get all of my application materials ready by July, for the program of my choice:)

I'm Getting Old

Don't know why this was depressing, but I went to look up a player for the Dallas Cowboys, noticed he was younger than I, then proceeded to count every single player that was younger than I. 29. 29 professional football players in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex are younger than I am.

That is all.

Woe is me............again

So I had my little woe is me rant again on Friday. I'm just convinced, for real this time, I'll never have a real, real relationship. And I'm sure I'll never get married, never have kids. So, I'm just gonna have a good cry about it and move on, at some point. I'll still try to be the best me I can be, till the second coming. I'm gonna have to go back and immerse myself in the church, and work, and hopefully other things soon.

But I think what's making this all so much worse, and what I just realized, but I've always thought about it. Almost everyone I know, even those I don't even care about anymore, even those I can't stand, are in relationships. Most married, too. And I've always thought that getting married, and having kids, were two of my life-long goals/dreams. And it's frustrating when people who don't even deserve to be with anyone, let alone have kids, have what I want. What is wrong with me that I can't even have one relationship? What is wrong with me that I can't even get past the first date with someone?

I am now officially swearing off guys/men/the male species. I don't wanna deal with anyone on any other level than friendship. It's just too heartbreaking, and it hurts too much. My heart, and my emotions can only get stomped on so many times. I'm not allowing any other guy to wipe his dirt off on me, so he can find someone else to be with.

No more. Not gonna do it. Gonna dedicate myself to my job, and getting healthy, and getting the things I want, non-relationship related.

Why does this crap have to be so hard and hurtful?

Saturdays are good

So I woke up Saturday, thinking for the most part it was gonna be a pretty boring day. I went back and started tutoring my kiddies again. I had 2 new 2nd graders. They were cute. They started out not being very combative with the work. But my little girl didn't want to move on past math. And my little boy decided he would draw a guy with his eye shot out, as decoration for his notebook.

So I started this post on October 7. Don't even remember why the rest of it was good, but it was. I just don't remember why. I think I went to a game, and it was a good game, even though we lost. I think.

A Happy Medium?

So.........I vented to one of my friends about my last male species issue.....and he told me something that I never thought of before. I divulge too much personal information, and I do it too soon. Idk. I'm a journalist, I talk. And I like to be completely honest and open. Because I would want someone to show me the same respect. But on the flip side, it seems if one is too secretive, not willing to be open, "playing hard to get," then the guy also seems not interested. So what's the happy medium? What can you tell, how soon can you tell it and why do ya'll immediately want to move to sex? If ya'll don't want a relationship, why don't you just be upfront and say, "all I want is sex?" It's really just that simple. If you're talking to a real, mature woman, then you can tell the truth. She'll either take it and still deal with you, or she'll take it and she won't. 'Cause she doesn't have the desire to waste her time on someone who doesn't want what she wants.

So.....a lesson for the men. The REAL men, and those that want to be real men; tell the truth, ALWAYS. Be honest, ALWAYS. Be upfront and straightforward, ALWAYS. Because when you're "spittin' game," to a woman that doesn't have time to deal with it, you're only turning a good woman into a bad one, thinking all men are dogs.

It's better to have loved and lost.....

than never to have loved at all? Is it really though. Does it make sense to put yourself through something, especially if you know the outcome is going to hurt you, than to just sit there and be lonely and miserable? All of this stems from a weekend encounter. Someone who claimed they were so into me, talking about all sorts of things, about me "adopting" them, but the minute something happens, they act like you never existed.

I've been through this before, several times, so why do I put myself through it again? I told my friend "because I'm lonely and the closest person who seems to want me is more than 6 hours away." And he says something I never really thought of before, and it's hard to choose. Choose the lesser of the two. Lonely or Hurt. How do I choose between being lonely and miserable and not having any real friends here at all.........or meeting someone, thinking it would work out b/c we were cool on the phone?

I know, if you've ever read more than just this one post, you must be tired of me reading about how I think my appearance is hindering my career and love life. But I really think it is. And you know what? Getting "advice" and the "you should do something about it's" don't help from people who have never been in my situation, so thanks, but you have no clue what it's like. But Idk if I might also be scared to change it. I feel like other flaws will come out, or then also, I might be judged solely on my looks, which I already am, but I've seen the attention the "skinny" chicks get, I definitely don't want that, cuz I'm not exactly nice about it, with the little attention I do get. But seriously Idk if I could handle it, and I don't think I want to.

But we'll see....I will now have a free gym membership thanks to my apt. complex, but unfortunately they decided 3 months after I started paying at the other gym, to switch their contract. So.......I'm sure I'll have to pay early termination fees.

And on another high note.....www.peekyou.com is a wonderful site. I found my best friends from elementary and junior high, and high school on myspace, so I'm reconnecting, trying to only deal with people who are there through the thick and thin, no matter what.

Why beef? Why not salmon?

The doctors are right you know. If you just ignore the bully, they'll move on and pick on someone else. But NOOOO!!! People gotta "prove" they're a "man" and step up to people.



It's really not that serious. And it's a turn-off. A MAJOR turn-off. Why must people insist on broadcasting their dislike for someone? Celebs and everyday folk? It's really not a good look, and people just think you're hateful, mean and evil. And no one wants to be around that. Just let it go and move on with your life. If you dwell on what someone else is doing, then you need something else to fill that void.

But.....they also say, if someone's hating on you, then you're doing something right.

Family Guy Cranks Dat Soulja-Boy

One of my favorite shows and a song I really don't understand, and don't care to understand.

Should I be offended?

Why can't I be black, but not be ghetto?

Congratualtions! You are 10% ghetto

It looks like you keep yourself out of the ghetto and are living ghetto free. Also, you may be white.

How Ghetto Are You
Create Your Own Quiz

Monday, Monday

Too much crap today. My day is done, well my day was done at 7:45 this morning, and I desperately needed a shot of Wild Turkey. My show was going great, until......video hadn't been edited correctly....so we're rolling video that has no audio. Add to that, my anchor tells me after the break that the lady that was scheduled to be a guest on the show "called" and emailed 15 minutes after the show started, saying she had to cancel. So on top of my package not rolling, I had a 3 minute segment that couldn't air. So I had 3 minutes to fill. I added a minute of commercials, gave my weather guy an extra minute, and tried to just ride out till the show was to end. Got the 2 packages on that we missed, and got off on time. Luckily.

Now, I get home, and I have to take care of my speeding ticket that I got in KKK town. The lady was nice, she told me everything I'd need to to so I can take defensive driving, and it looks like it's going to be $10 cheaper than what I was expecting to pay, so things are looking up. Now I just need to find my rebate card from ordering my Internet service, so that I can hopefully get my rebate before 2008.

Woe is me

So I guess I'm semi having another pity party. After reading blogs about black women being independent: is it a good thing or a bad thing, I'm wondering if it really is. Some say, as do I, that's it's something that we kind of fell into. Daddy's leaving home, women have had to be mommy and daddy and bring home the bacon. But also, we're so busy getting degrees, being an executive, devoting ourselves to our church and community, that we don't leave room to "take care of a man." Which, okay, I'm cool with that. But then you complain that we're too clingy, too much into you, and we need to have something outside of you to be more well-rounded. So what do you want? Why is it that the good men are being snatched up, hiding, whatever. And the good woman are left, with their career, church, community involvement, etc., and they can't find a good man? What do you want from us?

Vegas Baby!!!!!!

So I wasn't too thrilled with my father when he woke up at 9:45 the morning we were to leave for Vegas, but we didn't hit the road until about 3:30. I was wanting to rest, and check out the place and actually go to the opening ceremonies this year, because I missed them last year. But.....we got there at 7, I got to see a few friends before checking in, met my roommate for the 4 night stay (more on her later), and got to the Spirit of the words poetry contest just in time to hear my friend's contest-winning poem.
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Thursday

I've waited so long to write this post, I've forgotten quite a bit, so I guess it really wasn't all that memorable. Ah, yes. There are professional development breakfasts; basically free breakfasts where we can here people speak about a certain issue in journalism or media, and make contacts, sometimes they give stuff away, whatever. And of course, I missed it. So I'm standing in a LONG line downstairs at one of the coffee stand-type places in the lobby, waiting to pay $14 for 2 muffins some water and some juice, but I had no problem with that, really.

Hillary Clinton was the first of 2 possible presidential candidates to speak at the convention, in our "Conversation with America's Candidates" session, and she was up that morning. She likes to talk, and dance around the question a little bit, but eventually she answers part of it. But the highlight of that session was when a man asked about "socialized healthcare" and she basically told him "if you would like to be educated on universal healthcare then you can visit with my staff after the session, instead of being rhetorical and uneducated about the issue..." And that was that.

I ran into a former co-worker and ran into the job fair really quick before going to a workshop on how to perfect your live shot (that's the "live from the scene" shot you see reporters out on during the newscast. They were pretty much talking about making them better, making them draw the viewer in and really stay there and listen to the story. It was interesting, to say the least. My mentor later said she thought some, well one person in particular, went a little overboard on their live shots. But the room was packed, good information was shared. Sometime after that my buddy got there, and I was mad at him, for some reason, don't really know why. And he made it worse when he didn't answer my calls or text messages later that night, while I was hoping from media reception to reception with my mentor, her husband, and an L.A. columnist. And then he made it EVEN MORE WORSE, when I was told he was looking for me at a party, so I called and texted him, no answer, but when he finally finds me, all I get is a head nod, and he walks on. Like I'm just a random acquaintance. I eventually forgave him, but writing that got me a little heated up again. We left the party about 1-ish, caught a cab back to our hotel and fell asleep. (It was a fairly good party, for $20)
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Friday

Missed another breakfast, I think I only had a rice krispies treat and a couple of sips of water that morning. It was Barak Obama's day to speak (we did ask all of the people taking a stab at the presidency, Democratic and Republican, but Edwards couldn't make it at the time allotted, and no Republicans responded---what does that tell you?) He was late, but he came in, joking, that now he hopes, finally, that he's proved he's black enough to be President. I hung out for 2 seconds with my buddy, went to lunch and a workshop and headed back to the room. Btw, in the middle of all this, we switched rooms; ours smelled like smoke and it was SO hard for me to sleep cuz my sheets smelled like smoke and I couldn't breathe.

The first night of the convention, my roommate, being the friendly, Chatty Cathy I would later find out she was, she talked to a chick that was part of the Spirit of the Words poetry event, and she said she worked for Toni Braxton, and could get us in to see her. I had already determined before hitting Vegas that I wanted to see her, but I wasn't trying to pay at least $70+ tax. Thursday didn't work out, but Friday evening we got a call, and we had 30 minutes to get over to the hotel across the street to get in the show.

It was great, I got a very blurry photo of her legs, LOL. She's a great entertainer, and it didn't even feel like 2 hours had passed. Unfortunately I didn't discuss it with the guy sitting next to me. But she was sitting on guys' laps, and then shaking their woman's hands. She asked me and the dude next to me if we were together, and we shook our heads no, so we missed out. Oh well, she's great, and a humble person. I ran into more former co-workers, and turned in early.
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Saturday

I believe there was another professional development breakfast, but I wasn't even interested in going. I think I had water this morning. FINALLY got around the job fair, ran into some college buddies, and eventually saw my dad again, we had lunch at a buffet. I wanted to see one of the movies, although the one I wanted to see, tickets had run out days before anyway, so I wasn't that pressed to see any of the other ones. I went to another workshop, balancing life and work. It was very good. They had very good panelists who were funny and had good information to share, and have accomplished a successful career and successful personal life, whether single or married, with and without kids.

I had dinner that night at an Asian restaurant with a very good friend, and mentor, and we talked about all sorts of stuff. It was just fun to actually get to hang with her this year. I don't remember seeing her in Indy last year, but I know I literally stopped her in the hall in ATL, we hugged, and that was the last time I saw her that year.

Went to the Chicago kick-off party. It was awesome. Fairly good music, good hosts, Chocolatini's that were VERY strong. Too strong. And lots of laughter. Good times were had.
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Sunday

I always go to the Gospel Brunch. Honestly, best food of the conference, and you get to hear great artists. This year it was a group called Damali, Marvin Winans and Jonathan Butler. They were all great, and I got a picture with Marvin Winans. I absolutely LOVE the ENTIRE Winans family.

Now.......
This is where my vacation went downhill. It stumbled a little bit earlier, but completely fell off here.

Got to the airport, it's horribly designed (but I'm partial cuz at DFW you really don't have to walk more than 50 feet to get to your gate, you get dropped off right there). But here, you got dropped off down where the ticket counters are, and checked baggage goes. THEN you have to ride an escalator up to gates, walk, ride a moving sidewalk, and then walk some more to your gate (also like this at LAX).

So I get to my gate, an hour and a half till we're supposed to leave. I'm good, got a green tea frappuccino and a banana nut muffin, and just people-watching. Trippin off the slot machines 20 feet away from me. Now the flight was to leave at 3. At 2:30, the plane wasn't there, but it showed up shortly and deboarded, and they were cleaning and checking equipment, then....."we'll be boarding in 14-20 minutes, there's a mechanical situation we're gonna take care of, and we'll get you to Dallas as close to on-time as possible."

2:45- "We're not at a 'we'll let you know' stage. It's going to take longer and we'll let you know at 3:45 when we'll be taking off."

3:15- "I'm sorry I have more bad news, we'll let you know at 5:00 when we'll be boarding and headed to Dallas."

3:45-"I'm very sorry, more bad news. This flight has been cancelled. All coach passengers follow Kay to the ticket counter and we'll get you on another flight, first class and special needs passengers can stay and we'll find another flight for you."

Now before leaving for L.A. I did have the opportunity to bump up to first class for $150, but I wasn't that concerned. I should've went ahead and did it.

So we're waiting, forever, for them to get people on other flights. Luckily they were putting us up in a hotel, and even gave us $20 in meal vouchers (half of which I still have now) and we were all schlepped to the Hampton Inn.

Now I had several friends who weren't flying out till Monday anyway, so I called them, asked if they had a place to stay, and said they could come stay with me. But since I hadn't heard anything, I went ahead and got a room with 1 bed. Friend #1 calls, sure, I'll be over in half an hour. So I call to get a 2-bed room. I switch, and the a/c doesn't seem to be working. So I said I'll wait an hour, and if it doesn't work I'll switch rooms again. My friend gets there, and I'm waiting another 30 minutes, it's not cooling. So I call down, they send up an engineer, and he says "oh you're on the 6th floor, it's not gonna get any cooler than his, with all the heat rising and all." So he has a switched to another room, and he gave us free drink coupons.

So we move, friend #2 shows up. Friend #3 calls, finds out where we are and tries to get a room there. I gave away the coupons cuz I wasn't interested in drinking anymore, and me and friend #1 go and get something to eat. Jack in the Crack says they were open for people to come in till 11, but at 10:30, the doors were locked, and they weren't trying to let us in, so we move on to McDonald's. On the way there, friend #3 calls back, asking to stay in our room. It's cool with everybody, so he shows up just after we get back. We had good times. Laughing, HARD, every 2 minutes. Idk how friend #2 slept through it all, but she did. I think we went to sleep around 2, and me and friend #1 woke up at 6:15 to catch our flights. I got a little comped breakfast, talked to friend #2, and then rushed down to check out and catch the shuttle. I was told it would come every 10-15 minutes, there was a shuttle sitting out there, but the lady downstairs said 8:00. It was 7:50 so I was sorta okay, my flight was to board at 8:55. I get to the airport again, dragging bags, had to check them again, had trouble finding the baggage counter, got back upstairs and the security line was LONG. I had to consolidate bags, throw out the water I bought AT THE AIRPORT less than 24 hours before, and got to the gate just before they started boarding.

Finally getting to Dallas and heading to go get my car at 3, I had to move my bags to my car, get some Chick-fil-a (hadn't had it in ages) and gas, and headed back to Wichita Falls. My air's out, I'm sleepy and frustrated, so I'm trying to get home ASAP, and I get pulled over. For going 10 over. He wasn't very sympathetic to my terrible time getting home story, nor the fact that I had to be at work in 4 hours and still had to go to sleep. I would actually go and try to get this one dismissed, but I got it in KKK town, so I don't even wanna try and show up. But the trooper hoped I could make it to Vegas again and have fun next time.

So I get 2 1/2 hours of sleep. I'm dealing with new and temporary people on my show, it went okay. The next night, I wake up, terribly sick. So now, I'm getting over a cold, I have a little bit of a lingering cough, but I think I'll be okay.

And that's Vegas. Not too sure if I'll be going back anytime soon. I'll be trying to figure out how to put pictures up at some point.

My first vacation

So.........

I finally got to take my first vacation. I decided to take a few days off before my journalism convention and went to visit my dad in L.A. I arrived on his birthday, and was incredibly tired, with my crazy schedule and the time change. But we went to a crawfish festival in Long Beach, and then went to see The Bourne Ultimatum that night. It was great, that that I saw, b/c I kept falling asleep. But I got the gist. And I stayed at my dad's house, chillin, relaxin, watchin tv Monday and Tuesday, even though I had planned to go to work with him and knock a story out before the convention. But since that never happened, I was cool. I realized I really wasn't ready to have my work critiqued just yet. It was pretty much the same stuff from last year, and, I can't move on to another job yet anyway, so I'd just be wasting their time. Besides, anybody I'd really want to get a critique from, at the particular point, I can get it. In fact the last of my contacts that I talked to at the convention told me to send him a tape when I get back to Texas. So my next post will be some of what happened in Vegas, b/c, as you know, what goes on there.............stays there.

Small Town Television....

...is very interesting. It's almost like anyone who's a journalist should minor, or double major in psychology. Because people call about the most idiotic things, the most trivial things, and because they are essentially your "customer" you have to pacify them.

I remember one of the first calls I got here, a lady complaining that the Lotto numbers didn't stay up on the screen long enough to check her numbers. Another guy called asking about a meeting, and ended up telling me about his lack of education and who wasn't helping him at the city and who was leaving him to practically live on the street. I have to do local birthdays, and people will TAKE YOUR HEAD OFF if you don't get their name, or their loved one's name on. ESPECIALLY, if they didn't call in time for you to get it on the air, they EXPECT you to get it on the next day. Annnnddd........I love how people call asking about commercials and infomercials that happen to air on our station, and EXPECT us to know the information from the infomercial. Honestly, had I ever watched the one I was asked about the other day at 4:10 in the AM, I could've given her the number. BUT, I don't watch infomercials, and TWO I was working. Don't have time to write down numbers. Anywho, this will never stop for me, as long as I'm in this business, so I'm learning to deal with it.

On a side note: It's interesting how I ended up ALL over in this story on a competing station's newscast.

Casual Proposals

Okay. For future reference, for my future husband, I'm going to need you be a little more dressed up than this guy when you propose. I could understand if we were at a baseball game or something, I could understand if we were at the park. But if you're going to be on tv, and you KNOW your hopefully soon-to-be fiance has to dress up and look nice for her job, you should be somewhat dressed up too, i.e. NO SHORTS. But he's not a bad looking guy. Congratulations Andrea!

Getting to know you.....

The male species can be SO frustrating. I just got off the phone with this dude who claims he likes me, but everytime I talk to him, he's always distracted or not listening or anything. And he said something kinda strange today about girls leaving relationships b/c they don't know what they want. They go in thinking they know what they want, and expect people to change, and he said people don't have time for you to think about what you want. And as I got sick of having to repeat everything I said b/c he was falling asleep on the phone, I thought, I don't have time to waste on somebody who can't stay awake and listen to me.

I'm at a frustrating, confusing and upsetting time in my life right now. I want to get married one day. Have kids one day. My profession already makes it hard to meet people and establish a relationship. But not being able to find anyone PERIOD to try and start the relationship is even more frustrating. It almost makes you wanna give up when you do meet that person you think could be right for you, but they don't feel the same way. Or worse, you don't even know how they feel, and you're too shy to figure them out, or even just ask. Maybe one day I'll get around to it.

On another note.......today is the birthday of the guy I had a crush on for forever and a day. He's still far away, as far as I know, still attatched, unfortunately. But whatever will be will be. I guess I'm just living this life till the Second Coming.


Until next time!!

For the love of Pete!!!!!!!!!!

So....I had been talking to this guy for a few weeks. Just talk, friendly stuff. I'm sure he could tell I was flirting, though. There was even a time that I thought I'd never speak to him again. I thought I was being overbearing and he was tired of me, and he didn't initiate any convo........................until.......this week. He invites me to an event his fraternity is having next month. I was geeked, psyched, over the moon. Not only did he talk to me again, but he INVITED me to an event. Once I got over the shock, I went back and read his impromptu invite, and he gave the date................and bam. OF COURSE it would be the SAME date as the ONE TIME I'd be OUT OF TOWN for my journalism conference. I told him so too. But told him to make sure to let me know about other stuff. Cuz I support the kids, you know?

But I also checked flights, just to see, if I changed mine, came back a day early. And it turned out to be $145 cheaper than what I've already paid. BUT..........I wouldn't get a refund AND I'd have to pay an EXTRA $100 to change my itinerary. So much for that. But I'm thinking of asking him if there's a make-up event I can go to (wink, wink).

So wish me luck!!!!

Ciao!

Video Mode

Someone sent me a youtube link, so I started watching more. THESE ARE HILARIOUS.

If you know anything about Alexyss K. Tylor, you'll find this friggin hilarious.


"Fosse" Dancers "Walkin it Out"


Teletubbies "Walkin it Out"